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i remember a year before a friend tell me this quote.. "You have an extraordinary gift that your holding with your both hands but still you tend to hold and  hide it and believe that your ordinary hands will do your heart’s gift.. "

i’m different! thats what i intend to.. thats what i used to.. And being different is not a crime but a decision.. :p

Nakakatamad magblog sa friendster!!

to be edited…

i’m kinda piss off today.. so i write something that could loosen my tensions and relax my succumb hatred to people that surrounds me today.. i’m totally pissed off! i’ve even hate my phone for not recieving signal from this damn globe connections.. i wish i could have used smart instead… and much worst… this philandering job that starts to hate my love to walk and walk and walk.. nakaktamad na.. lagi nalang ganito!!

And Now… i wanna say.. SHIT!! Apoplexy…

i hate things to be late.. unorganized.. numb and fetid…

i’ve got lot of things to do and someone is sharing a lot of time in my closets, fitting and trying to break me up apart.. i’m loosing my psyche and trust to my damn hands not to work overnight due to this obscure apprhensions that she might know that i’m starting to like her.. i’m soooo stupid this days.. i can’t eat nor drink my coffee coz i’m staring outside the cup and leaning on a chair that lost its foot due to my boot slap…

i’m terribly wasted aloft all positive outlook i’ve got before her. i wish she will never knew what should she needs to understand and these writings on my blog sheets never crisp to papers and burn to ashes.. i wish she will never capsize each rivers that route to my basins.

I’m scared to let her know coz she might atleast be the next happiness i would ever define..

CRAP!!

Light

Light bends but never breaks,
It can never be taken away.
Darkness can only prevail,
When the light is blocked,
Or the source of light dies.

Wake up suns of the day,
Awaken stars of the night,
Come out to live and play,
And shine the night away.

Make our world bright,
Make it beautiful again,
Restore others sight,
And shine with all your might.

Roll over dark disdain,
Save those engulfed in black,
And weep for those slain,
As the weak regain.

Remind the world we are back,
The suns and stars again rise,
Shining together as a pack,
Pouring light into every crack.

Watch the worlds surprise,
At shining night, and sunrise,
Watching as the darkness dies,
Taking with it hidden lies.

Only to return if all light goes out,
So beware and please spread the light,
For the darkest path and route,
Is the sickest and most tempting blight.

Don’t date because you are desperate.
Don’t marry because you are miserable.
Don’t have kids because you think your
genes are superior.
Don’t philander because you think you
are irresistible.

When you give someone your time, you
are giving them a portion of your life
that you’ll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why
the greatest gift you can give to
someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort,
and the best way to spell love is
T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not
what we think or do or provide for
others, but how much we give of
ourselves.
God is good all the time!

Its odd to say "i’ve grown up!! i’m not a child anymore!!" hahahaha thats too unusual for a person with 6 feet high!! hahahaha.. but seriously, if we used to tell ourselves that we’d already grew up.. then maybe it’s not true either.. nor its just an affirmation of our childhood expense of wishing and dreaming.. coz face it!! "everyone of us has little childness in our hearts"  si PGMA nga like to twiddle her grand daughter like as if its a doll.. hehehehe.. well what could be more detrimental? it’s like too common to each everyone of us to do things that "we’d almost forgot doing" we’ve love to do because we can’t do it while were in a barred childhood monestary.amf..

WISHING is for a child.. DREAMING were made for the adolescence.. REALITY is for oldies racing out to die!! hahahaha… What we are now were just pictures of tomorrows run!! So don’t be stupid to run everyday.. sometimes take a hitch on a car with beautifuls girls!! hahaha

I’m so slow these days. It seems that time had stopped just to see me festering around with this pathetic life. Ive got no things to remind me off something to bewildered and I’m starting to get messy with my dreamscape. I wish i could find someone whos willing to give me a hand to push myself up after this tiresome wishmaker i’ve locked in my closet,Haaayyyzzz….. It’s been a while since i’ve stopped from working  and dig up my way up again to NEU and it feels like i’m drowning myself to get rid off this First Day high Syndrome in school. I’ve almost forget the color of the building im supposed to attend my Math class and foolish me, forgot the face of my terror proffesor that used to give me low grades in my subjects. I wish everyone is here with me.. my friends, my paint brush, my Notes… i don’t know where am i gonna turn to coz i feel like alone in this University, in fact my batch had already left me in this school… if i could just twist back the time and focused into my studies maybe….

?? i’ve graduated in this school with full colors on my name on it!! hehehe..

??? i’ve been working now in Singapore as an Engineer with luxe and pleasures on my hand.. hahahaha

??? maybe i’ve been so ill with my life that i wanted to go back to time coz i know someone there is waiting for me and i don’t belong in this time and dimension…waaaaa

??? and maybei will realize that  its true that we need not to loose our hope to wish back the time we’ve lost to remember that i am here… and not there

??? and maybe now i will believe in myself that i could do things on my own coz i live with my heart in an open mind with an open soul…

?? Mabe now i’m just too uncertain what will i do next and where i should go? but the fact that im different to anybody on how i keep my life sojourns this everyday advent to hope and wishes will determine the real me? wakokok

Like anybody i’ve known tells me that i’m an antisocial.. my silent quivers them not to disturb me or they were just to anxious to see the real me and if they were equivocal to my ideas that i used to tell them that i will listen will just end up to a debate… well i guess they’ve won… coz i really hate discussing things that will involve personal outlook to a topic that is nonsense… NONSENSE for me were things that are too common that we ourselves can give our own opinion without killing others pride like "this is right and you were wrong.. " if that is what we called democracy/Freedom then its a foul word that i may define it with that analogy.. For me Freedom is not what comes out in your mouth but what’s inside of your heart.. i speak no more coz i intend to listen and educate myself what is the Truth in this word.. i hate to argue to everyone.. i just  want people to think of this few sentences ive realized while reading "The Book of Counted Sorrows" Freedom is innate to everybody then why do we console our freedom to everybody.. then if and then why does are lowly souls commited agony and deciet, of hate and loneliness.. What is the freedom in happiness if we are trapped in our own wish to be happy? hahahaha.. The BOOK is as mysterious as its lines that provokes uncertainty.. wahehehe… read this out.. "Happiness is a kind of madness..  where everything flourishes to hunger"

I have a night life (T.T) pathetic night life it is!!! Looting to graveyard from a busy work at night and obviously laki na ng Bugs ko sa eyes(-_-)zZzzz…waaaa.. if i could just slip my pajamas to this seat and ran to sleep… wakokok..

Blogs ko ::::

My "Metro" Life.. tick tack tick…

—> Everyday na lang its always like this (T.T) i feel like an automaton or niether a 24 hr convinient store.. everything changes as time renew itself for me. Everyday sojourning to a jungle was fun after all ^^. imagine i always get bumped to  beautiful people inside the MRT.. They were superstars in a cab like Ricky Martin and Mr. Bean.. hehehehe if you don’t know what im saying well you don’t wanna know..

The Terminal One –>

Let’s start in a jeepney ride "the Joy ride" as i called it… as the jeep runs it always stops in a sidewalk 2 meters per minute as if the driver has a terminal on all corner streets in the Metro.. Shet mahuhuli na namn ako!! (T.T) and besides its not bad afterall coz while your enjoying a joyride theres a bit of Communion inside the jeep.. hehehhe… the driver "as what i call it.. Kwentong driver"  intriguing politacal news and True to life Experience daw of somewhat similar to "Kwentong Barbero" nyahhahhaahha… in the contrary nakakatuwa sila coz its an entertainment in a morning ride..^^

Next stop–> MRT Station Quezon Ave.

Crap!! sira ung escalator and Elevator.. lagi naman e!! besides para talagang laging may concert sa MRT–> lahat kelangan MAHABA..

1. Mahabang pila

2.Mahabang inspection

3.Mahabang Pasensya

4. Mahabang paghihintay sa Tren

5. and Mahabang buhok ng bakla sa male Cab.. wakokok

"i wish sana maramdaman ko namn ang feeling ng nakaupo sa seat ng MRT" (T.T) Everyday i’m standing for a 30 min ride sa MRT kawawa naman ako..ok lang sana if im the only one standing in a Female cab ako napunta ^^ hehehehe lots of pretty gurlz don!! Wow sarap!!! hehehehe.. had you heard the messangers on the Train cab?? They were the one sent by "??" to make cermon inside the train wakokok… and ang lakas ng echoing power nila ha!! hehehehe… From jeep to MRT puro sermon!!! Lagi na lang ganito!!

MRT Station Ayala —>

People our always in a hurry exepts some Filipinos i know^^, kasi laging Late sa work(-,-) hehehehe.. From these station i walk to that Blue Bldg. looks like maraming blue bldg namn sa Makati e.. hehehe… dati i thought that living inside these community was a fame.. hindi pala, Buildings were just proof of perseverance, persistance to be at the TOP of them all.. but i guess malapit na me sa top coz ang office ko ay nasa 54th floor wakokok.. hehehe whatever they would say about these its more than just fame, its a passion to be at the top. A DREAM..

The Blue Bldg.—> ID pls..

Everything is possible if you could just learn how to negotiate.. i forgot my ID but it never stopped me to do my job today.. theres always a backdoor namn e.. hehhehehe.. If you want it theres always a reason that will push you to have it.. There’s no kite without a string.. hehehehe..

Room 5404b —>

As usual late nanaman ako^^.. "Kasi poh TRAFFIC" what else could be the best reason?? hehehhe… and besides a play for my gamble time naman e.. hehehehe.. "Headgear up.. phones off.. Good Morning…  Guten morgen.. erist krank deutsche.."

me

I am freedom,

falling fast from the sheltered security

of my obsessive tree,

and falling into the open arms

of a vast earthly ocean

of numerous opportunities.

I am acceptance

falling downwards in the spinning breeze

and letting fate decide my next step;

never finding the need to question

my ultimate destiny.

I am honesty,

integrity at its finest,

finding fault, failure, and fear at every step;

and discovering patience,virtue,and forgiveness

at the peak of my existence.

I am affirmation

of everything that i know is mine

in thought, spirit, and example;

in the confusion of the world’s false promises.

I am hope, vindiction,and self-worth.

I am all I have mastered myself to be.

I am me.

    Some Laws i’ve learned from my friends - (,")

1. You either get it or you don’t. -

      People say, "Don’t make foolish mistakessimply because they figured out that there is a definite formula for success." Know the difference between Living and Existing.

2. You create your own experience.-

      Accept and acknowledge that you are responsible for your life. YOU, not anyone else, are accountable for your life, whether it is success or failure, happy or joyous, good or bad.understand this. Diagnose your situation well that you may find the right solution. If you accept your self as a victim, then there is no salvation for you. Accept your accountability now.

3. People do what works. -

     There is a pay off for every behavior. If you identify the pay offs you can control them, and then you control your life.

4. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. -

    If you are unwilling to acknowledge a certain situation in your life, then you are not willing and able to change it. If you live in denial by not wanting to face the real situation, then you are running away from yourself. Address the denial in your life or continue to decieve yourself.

5. Life rewards action. -

     Thought without action is impotent. Better tto just do what you say than say and not do.

6. There is no reality, only perception. -

     What you see in situation is in the value you give it - this is reality. And how you look at it will determine our happiness or peace.

7. Life is managed; it is not cured. -

     Holding on to your lifeand whatever situation you may be in does not guarantee instant results. Hanging in there with determination is the ke. Nobody ever said life was easy.

8. We teach people how to treat us. -

    How you validate someone’s behavior toward you determines how they will treat you. If you feel you deserve better, let them know it.

9. There is power in forgiveness. -

     Anger and bitterness can consume you. You gain everything by forgiving those who have hurt you.

10. You have to name it to claim it. -

     Know what you want. Once you do you can claim it. Indecision will breed inaction. Recognize the behaviors that will support it and not those that will sidetrack you.